Saturday, March 21, 2009


As we are gearing up for another Mamma's/Diva boat cruise on July 10th, I find myself immersed in the idea of how amazing women are. It is not just about us letting loose and having a good time it is about celebrating women. I have come to an age where I am comfortable in my own skin though it is loose in spots I wish at times were tighter...especially when I sneeze or laugh or cough LOL. I still have weight to lose, there is still work to be done but I am proud of the wrinkles, the grey hair, the stretch marks, I am a work in progress, and so it should be, regardless I am finally understanding that the women I have become is a person I like. The women I choose to surround myself with are beautiful, vivacious, incredible, strong and loving women who I am proud to call my friends. We are all busy women with our hands in so many things yet we choose to partake in whatever manner we can to an evening that promises greatness. It not only allows us a well deserved, long overdue night out but the most quintisential beauty of it is that we are helping other people. People in our community who are mother's like us who if the roles were reversed would be doing the same thing. Strong incredible families who have been handed an unfathomable hand that they did not choose and have been thrown into. These families live in our towns, their children go to our school's, they are a part of us...doing something like this is all we know, all we know to feel useful, all we know so we don't just idly stand by and this is the only way we know to show that we care and that they are not alone....and a girl's night out never hurt anyone.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Life's Lessons this week

It has been a crazy busy week, who's isn't, but I found myself appreciating the beauty, love and awe that I find admidst the chaos. I feel so very blessed especially when I look around and see how fortunate I truly am...that does not take away the fact that I do bitch every once in a while...it is venting and it is good to release.

  • I learned even surrounded by death and funerals, as I found myself this week, I can find myself surrounded by the little moments that leave me with a smile in my heart...witnessing a 98 year old man visiting with his sister who he doesn't remember when he saw last, watching a younger brother comfort his older brother with a pat on the back at the funeral of their father, a 3 year old girl in the first moment she sees her dad, crying out daddy and running with open arms to him.
  • I wish it surprised me when people can only think of themselves in the middle of somebody else's crisis.
  • Carp can still make me laugh, smile and beam with pride.
  • I sat with amazement and awe as Andrew read a book he picked out and read for the sake of reading not just because he had to it was a beautiful thing to see.
  • Curling is something that should not be taken lightly... it is more difficult than one would think
  • Me walking on ice is not a great idea.
  • Spending the whole weekend with my family is the greatest high.
  • I really don't care if I get invited at the last second out of obligation or because you think you have to.
  • The smell of three raw steaks cannot keep a very large dog with a limp away no matter where you hide them in the van.
  • You can't beat Hotwire $57.00 american for the Sheraton on Queen in TO wow
  • A gorgeous day, hearing the snow melt, seeing the grass pop through smelling the mud and feeling the sun on your face who needs to go down south this is what it is all about and it is free and their are no lineups
  • Never put two rolls of toilet paper in the tub and tear them apart while having a bubble bath
  • Never put said toilet paper within reach of an 18 month old while he is in the tub
  • Watching Erik yell GOOOOOOOAAAAALLLL as his brother plays hockey is good comic relief especially if we are losing.
  • Watching your boys ride their bikes for the first time this year makes your realize very quickly how much they actually grew over the winter.
  • An undiagnosed skin rash on your 18 month old makes people nervous as does a major temper tantrum with the added bonus of head banging.
  • Your 18 month old learns quickly that if he has a temper tantrum other people will give him candy to shut him up.
  • He also quickly learns that trick doesn't work as well with mamma when you get home.

The most important lesson I learned this week was life is to short you just never know take the time to breathe and take in some of the wonder that surrounds you, appreciate all you have especially the time you have with your loved ones.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Memorial Service

This is an excerpt that I wrote for the memorial service at my work. I have the best job imaginable. I work with 67 residents, I get paid to come up with and do programs with them. It is a job where I learn something new everyday, it keeps me grounded and amazed. Since Novemeber we have had 11 resident's pass away...it has been a hard winter to say in the least. I always close with a poem that I find and I will include it as well.



The quilt has a significance in the generations that live at Fenelon Court. Some made their own quilts in the day, or they might have had mothers or grandmother’s who were quilters and made the quilts that kept them warm. Some of those very quilts can even be found on the beds or in the rooms in these very halls. Quilting in the past was a necessity, it was a social event, it was one of the first act of recycling…taking snippets of fabric and piecing them together. The individual pieces were unique on their own. Some were muted, some brilliant, some stiff, some worn, some strong on their own, while others were delicate and needed the strength of the stitches and pieces surrounding them to bring out their own intensity. It was pieced together with time, patience and love. They were created not knowing what the end result would be until you had sewn the final stitch, whether you had followed a pattern or not. To finish a quilt you needed layers which on their own might not have had as much significance but put together they would create something amazing.
It is kind of like Fenelon Court. We are all little pieces with our own stories our own knowledge our own experiences independently we are valuable but when we are stitched together it becomes something greater than ourselves. There always comes a time when a part of the quilt becomes tattered and worn and might need to be patched with a new scrap. The piece that was originally there isn’t entirely gone and the significance that it held for the quilt as a whole has not disappeared, it has just changed shape.
People come through our doors they carry with them a lifetime of stories and they have all played a role in somebody’s life whether it was as a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, sibling or friend. The people who work here carry with them their own knowledge and their own hopes in how they want to care for the people that call this place home as well as the families that bring them here. We are all a part of something bigger whether we want to see it or not, whether we are the families of the residents, the staff or the resident’s themselves. In the end when all is said and done there are some pretty remarkable things that happen within these doors and there are some exceptional people who touch our lives and we are all affected when there is a loss and our quilt has to be patched once again.
I am honoured to speak on behalf of all the staff who have shared their stories of these 10 unique people who called Fenelon Court home.



Jessie’s Piece by Robert Brault

The world’s a jigsaw, once I thought,
With each of us a piece to fit,
A predetermined Grand DesignAnd each of us a part of it.
I thought that God must surely have A blueprint of His final goal
,And all who come into this lifeAre meant to play some fated role.

One day, upon a village square,I happened by a tiny shop.
What random step had led me there?
What in the window made me stop?

It was a quilt, a crazy quilt,
Each piece a brightly-colored patch,
A joyful, glowing work of art
From scraps you’d think would never match.

I looked upon the quilt in awe
To think a thing so oddly fine
Was stitched from fragments never made
To fit to anyone’s design.

I wondered then if God might wish
That in this way His world be built,
Each life a motley-colored scrap,
And He the weaver of the quilt.

I looked upon the quilt and saw
A patch that seemed but sheer caprice,
So whimsical it made me smile.
I knew it was my Jessie's piece.

Sunday, March 1, 2009


This week my middle son is turning 5...wow. I watched him today on the ice totally in his element, he was so focused grinning from ear to ear he is his father's son. I watched him today climb the hill at the neighbour's cheeks red full of determination as he climber up to the top and then rolled laughing down the other side he is his auntie Header's nephew. I watched him today walk by me and give me a little swat on the butt and run away laughing he is his morfar's grandson. I watched him hug his little brother and make him laugh with glee despite teething he is my son. I watched him ask one question after another with wonder he is Elmo's grandson. I watched him brag about his prowess on the ice so proud he is his grandmother's grandson. I watched him quietly accept what was being told and then say what he thought he is his poppa's grandson. He is a piece of my heart, he is my laughter, he is my wonder, he is my determination, he is my constgant reminder to breathe and take in the moments, he is my miraculous hell on wheels he is my David and he will be 5.

How to prepare for the stomach flu...

I have learned this round that instead of wasting so much of my time in denial fighting the inevitable... I should embrace it and prepare. Here are my lessons learned.
  • Make sure you have a bounty of gatorade, chicken noodle soup keep out of reach of those not sick
  • Soda crackers are your friend even though the mere sight of them may take you back to a time you do not want to remember.
  • Place blankets and pillows all around the house so you can just rest where you feel like dropping
  • Be prepared to fight the dog for the dog bed in the bathroom practice giving him the look
  • Dig out the diaper cream and wipes
  • put on comfy clothes pants you can pull up and down easily and something hooded which you can use to make anyplace dark and muffle the sound of children laughing and playing
  • call in all the supports, especially the " I owe you ones " that you never used
  • Have a designated bucket preferably something you bought at the dollar store that can be recycled after if you area real Martha Stewart and have enough time to prepare get the kids to decorate it making it real special make sure it remains washable and water proof
  • Keep lots of cleaning supplies and toilet paper. Take pride in making your toilet clean and shiny for the next trip.
  • Find some interesting literature for example the Heroin Diaries. It really helped me escape the reality of my dismal bathroom transporting me into a faraway hotel bathroom while faceless women lay naked on the bed outside their bathroom door after a Motley Crue. It also really helped me capture the character of Nikki Sixx as he once again struggled with his hangover, drug sickness or withdrawl throughout the book.
  • Now if your house has only one bathroom maybe create rules before hand in case more than one person is sick at the same time...be fair.
  • If possible get rid of your children even if it is for small pieces of time there is nothing worse than happy children running carefree and laughing when mamma is sick.
  • Toast and Peanut butter does constitute dinner
  • If your husband gets sick before you be kind and understanding you can call those favours in...if it is after you get ear plugs
  • and lastly enjoy the 3 or four pounds you have lost while you can because it won't last.