You Know you are from Sweden when...

My Swedish background growing up was always a big part of my life. It is something i am very proud of but having lived there while I went to school my rose coloured glasses soon came off. The Swedish Canadians will get a good laugh from this the Swedes will just say that is not us...

You know you are from Sweden when…
* You go to IKEA for the food and not the furniture.
* Your kids are familiar wih Pippi, Pelle Svanlös, Barnen Hedenhös etc
* When Björn Borg played tennis everything stopped in your house so you could all watch it.
* You went to school with mesmor, Kalles kaviar and egg, leverpate and pickles sandwiches not PB and J
* When asked what language you speak you reply Swenglish
* Christmas Eve is the holy day and Christmas day you relax unless you are married to a Canadian
* You watch international curling to hear Swedish yelling
* There are feathers on branches in your home at Easter.
* Your first pair of shoes were clogs
* Your kids believe in tomten, Trolls and think nothing about straw goats at Christmas
* Dancing like a frog around a maypole is not necessarily done only when you are drunk.
* You don’t just say Skoal there is a ritual, consisting of staring people in the eyes acknowledging them and then drinking.
* You know two things Sober and Drunk
* Sitting naked sweating your ass off with your neighbours or family in a cedar filled room and then jumping into snow or a frozen lake is normal
* Snaps comes with a whole set of rules and songs
* Sill was one of the first foods you tasted
* Dill is constantly used in your recipes
* Just because you went to the fack school does not mean you learned to F..k there.
* You know someone who was in Thailand when the Tsunami hit
* When picking teams for the hockey pool the number of Swedes on the team does matter
* You know the words Du gamla du fria, Öppna landskap, and Sommaren är kort by heart
* It drives you crazy when people say you are from Switzerland
* Your cousins phone and complain about time off …what 6 weeks vacation isn’t enough for you?
* You should be blonde and blue eyed and know it.
* Your claim to fame ABBA, meatballs, Volvo, absolut, IKEA and the tetra pack
* Alan keys are a staple in your tool kit
* You didn’t drink juice you drank saft.
* A sandwhich should be open not closed
* Ficka is a ritual
* Midsommar is not just a national holiday.
* "When you tell people you're swedish they ask you when you recorded your first porno "
* You know many Swedes with the last name ending with son
* "After eating at a café/restaurant, you think it's completely normal to tidy your table, collect all your stuff onto a tray and carry it over a trolley so that the staff doesn't have to do it. "
* "You answer the phone by saying your first name."
* "You are always apologizing, even if you don´t know why. "
*" If you are a Swedish girl: every time you say where you are from guys get a silly little smirk on their faces and think that you are easy. "
* "You don't consider small, round fluffy things stacked over each other and served with syrup to be actual pancakes. Real pancakes are thin, taste better...are served with jam and sometimes whipped cream."
* You know the meaning of and utmost importance of a cheese slicer
* You love O’boy to pieces and know that there is no way the Nesquick powder can ever replace it.
* You insist that Swedish chocolate Cloetta Marabou is the best in the world, despite what the Belgians and the Swiss might say.
* You don't understand why Canadians might think you are a member of the KKK if you have a big cross on your front lawn covered in leaves for midsommar and then dress up with a white gown and cone on our head for Lucia day
* You have caught crayfish and gladly gone through al the work to eat them
* You feel that "kladdkaka" tastes better than normal chocolate cake and the best cake is "Princess Tårta"
* You ask a visitor from back home to to bring you Dam Tidning, Mesmor, Idomin Salva and “Herrgårdsost” and all those other everyday luxuries you miss.
* Having salad on your Pizza is not odd
* You don't think having an orange painted horse as a symbol of your country is odd
* You happen to come across a Swedish food product in your local supermarket and just HAVE to buy it because it's food from back home.
* You understand that for “V” and “W” is the same sound in Swedish
* "You consider a fast and audible intake of breath as a synonym to the word "yes".
* "The Danish think you understand Danish. Ultimatley, when spoken, you don't really understand Danish. You make fun of the Danish for speaking "Swedish with potatoes in their mouths".
* You have to explain the wonder that is "snus" .
* "You with great (albeit hidden) pride explain that in Swedish we call our grandparents MORMOR & MORFAR and FARMOR & FARFAR "
* You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.You know how to pronounce these names
* "You don't think it's weird that a children's book talks about a penis measuring contest (snoppmätartävling) like in 'Berts dagbok'."
* You proudly state that the best Eurovision entry ever is "Waterloo" Abba was there any doubt. It still disturbs you that Carola singing Framling did not win the Eurovision Song Contest the first time around she participated, back in -83.
* You think that Sweden winning gold in any type of World Championships/Olympics requires celebrating
* You think nothing of people at home calling you a black skull because you have dark hair and watching you like a hawk in the stores because she must be an outsider
* You instinctively spot Swedes from a distance based on their blond looks and they're clothes and/or by the round pale mark in the pocket of their jeans (Snus) and you can tell what part of Sweden they are from by their dialect
* You have seen both your parents naked more than once
* You would never ever admit to anything on this list (since that would make you “too” Swedish)
* You unfourtunately realise that everything on this list is true.
* Growing up you might have believed that Sweden was some kind of fairy land with a perfect system until you took a good long look and realize how lucky you are to live in Canada

Thank you for the inspiration Caroline Pehrson

Pee and metal do not mix

I had some thought that this blog would provide me with a forum where I could sometimes give tips in raising boys seeing as that is what I have and that is what I know. This is my biggest tip yet. It has to do with the toilet...before I go much further you must understand my relationship with said toilet. A few years ago we were having problems with our old toilet clogging... after the umpteenth time unclogging the thing I decided in my infinite wisdom that I would change the toilet... Carp and I had had a disagreement the day before over something stupid so he wasn't talking much the next day. So off I went to Handley Lumber, for those of you who don't know the place just know it is owned by the Handleys, a big family in the area their mother is a saint having raised 4 sons who all work together though they are not always talking, it has a mill that has been running for I believe 3 generations and has lumber, obviously, but also has anything you need in regards to building a house. So there I was and I was obviously in a frame of mood that didn't need antagonizing. I went in and I saw Bill and he asked what I was working on this time ( a side note I am usually the one fixing things, not well, but at least fixing them with flair ) I looked in his eyes and I said "Bill do you think that I could replace my toilet, it needs replacing today and I think that I could do it, I dated a plumber once how hard could it be." I could tell he was unsure of how to handle this so he carefully picked his words. "Yes Caroline I think you could do it" and he proceeded to tell me what I needed how to drain the water and the tools I would need to do it and with the promise that I would phone him when I was done and he would come over and check it or send his son who was apprenticing to be a plumber. So off I went with my brand new toilet in tow...I cannot remember where my children were I am assuming they were well taken care of. I turned on my cd player I probably had Guns n Roses or ACDC cranked ( if I am getting down to business with a job its the hard stuff if is painting or dishes something like that it is ABBA or my Swedish music or possibly African we will save all that for another Blog) Carp knows by now if I have the hard stuff cranked enter softly and don't say anything. I do remember vaguely having some trouble removing the old toilet and a hammer coming and some bandaids because the pieces of ceramic can be sharpbut it was very exhilerating and I felt much better having released some of my tension on the old toilet which I then threw on the back deck. I proceeded to replace it which I did well though I had trouble with the ball thing in the tank it needed to be lowered and it just leaked a little where I didn't tighten it properly a towel on the floor fixed that for now. Bill came over and looked it over and said I did a good job, he tweaked a few things had trouble with the leak called his son who came later and fixed it. Carp came home didn't say a word as he went to the back yard to get wood I saw him glance on the deck at the old smashed toilet he quietly came in and looked at my handiwork flushed the toilet walked downstairs into the basement looked up at the ceiling to see if there was a gush of water and came up and said "I see you fixed the toilet." It is one of the things I am proudest of in the house. I put a beautiful dark chocolate seat on it that had brass nuts it was remarkable If I do say so myself. Well now reality hits, the seat needed changing I have tried changing it a number of times to no avail. Here comes the big finish the big tip ... when you have boys it is not a good idea to get a toilet seat with metal anything no matter how pretty, no matter how much it sets off the bathroom, pee and metal turn to rust, rust is extremely difficult to unscrew when it has gotten into the nut and screw, after a week of trying to unscrew this damn screw which was all that was left of the old seat, after I had ripped it off , I finally left it for a bit maybe it was the fumes from the WD40, or the idea that I was going to possibly smash my pride and Joy...but ten minutes later my amazing husband came out with the nut...I have never loved him more...well maybe. So now I look at my padded glaringly white toilet seat with plastic nuts and screws and I am filled with pride at our joint effort now if only I could pee in peace.

35mm vs Digital

Before you read the following Blog and believe I am living in the stone age know I do have a digital camera a Nikon D 40x which I have thoroughly enjoyed since receiving it for my birthday and Christmas present ( it sometimes pays to have a Decemeber Birthday). I love being able to take a ton of pictures send them to family and friends who live far away and then erasing them...but now as I get ready for my upcoming wedding season, I know my trusty 35mm camera's will be in their bag and ready to snap away...while my digital stays home. I do my weddings as a creative outlet it is not something I do because I have to it is something I do because I love it. The pictures I have taken are what I saw and was able to capture not recreate at home on my computer. I love that part of the challenge...and as I look at the pictures in my parents home, pictures from film cameras that have survived three or four generations I can' t help but wonder will the images that I capture of the bride and groom be in the homes of their great great grandchildren and if I had given them a disk of photoshopped images would they have survived in the same way or will they be in the a box of things like 8 tracks, beta tapes and the such. So here is m argument 35mm vs Digital

Digital versus 35 mm
Work done on a digital camera today could be unreadable by equipment in 50 years, think of the photographs of our ancestors which have survived 100 years a proven fact not a calculated probability.
Storage is another thing to think about, digital photos need a computer while prints need nothing for viewing.
Exposures of more than 30 seconds is not yet possible with the digital cameras.
Batteries.....need I say more?
The quality of the print is dependant on the size of the file saved.
Cost vs Quality Is the quality of the papers and the inks used to the standards that my lab offers in their developing? Doubt it.
Sometimes detail is more important than speed.
Colour control is still an issue what you see on the screen is not necessarily what you get.
Digital zoom vs optical zoom....digital you can go bigger but the image becomes more pixelly.
The magic is in what I have captured not what I have manipulated it to become something which never actually exist.
Using digital I feel I have lost my edge...I just keep snapping, I can just erase what I don't like I don't have to wait for that moment in the same manner.
Company's say memory cards can hold information for up to 100 years the same with certain printer paper...with technology as new as it is ...How do they really know?
In my opinion film and digital each have their strengths and weaknesses. Film does some things best while digital does other things best. Many people have both film and digital cameras, as do I. The bottom line is still the image. The rest is just tool selection. My Canon A I have been using for the last 20 years, it has survived the dry West African winter the wet humidity of Belize, the dry cold of Sweden and Norway. It still works in a pinch. I have not had to send it in for major work. I can take low light pictures, play with infra red film and work the light on my own terms. It's up to the photographer to choose the most appropriate tool for the application at hand. For me that is 35 mm. I have not met a bride yet who would rather be handed a disc with all her pictures and not an album. Film is dead? No, I don't think so. Personally I'll keep using it until I've reached the last frame on the last roll.

1 year ago today...

1 year ago today we had a memorial for a friend, a member of our family Tony Shone . I remember the place I was in last year at this time, it was a time of chaos, uncertainty in what the future would hold for members in my family, it was a time of bitter, unforgiving, questioning, anger, it was a time of not really understanding why some people are so incredibly selfish, incredibly callous and incredibly stupid. But it was also a time of joy...in the baby I was carrying and how much he gave me and others in the family hope, it was a time of things happening for a reason and not really understanding what that meant, it was a time for using the blackest of humour and letting laughter guide you through the craziest of circumstances and darkest of places, it was a time to learn the power of living in the moment and appreciate all we had admidst the chaos, now I see it was a time for realizing the importance of patience, forgiveness ( but not forgetting), letting things go that don't really matter and no matter how much people try to take from you their is much they never can take away unless you let them...like your dignity, your pride, your joy and your power to change things in a positive way. So as I sit here making plans for my amazing sister in laws wedding to an equally amazing man, whom I believe was sent by Tony, I revel in the idea of how things can change so drastically...if you let them. So in memory of an equally good man I will share what I read at his memorial a year ago today...knowing he would be happy at where we are today as a family.

I am not going to stand here and try to understand and decipher family dynamics, the complexity of relationships, how people grieve or how death can make people do strange things and I am definetely not going to even begin to try to comprehend why some people are put on the journeys that they are. We are here to begin to heal, to remember Tony, the person he was to each one of us and to give his life however short the dignity it deserves.
I was having trouble knowing what to write because I know that Tony wouldn't want any of this and I still can't believe he is gone. But there are a few things that need to be said about Tony Shone. This is a part of what I know. I didn't know him very long only the past 7 years or so. When Heather told us she had met someone I became instantly leary but I can honestly say that from the moment that I met Tony I liked him, he was that kind of guy. They were very different in every sense of the word but I think from the moment Heather and Tony got together they actually found true happiness, mutual respect and a true partner something neither one of them had found and something both of them had been searching for, for a long long time. Tony absolutely adored Heather they were the quintissential team, she wasn't just something he liked having around in a bikini, but of course knowing Tony that didn't hurt, but he truly loved Heather for who she was and she loved Tony in the same way. After Heather had her last accident 3 years ago he was there for her and helped her in every way he could. Over the past year Tony had started his own business which Heather was very much a part of. They were working on renovations in both places together, the place in town where the boys and Samantha had stayed for a time, was being painted, rooms were changed and the floors stained and varathaned. While the home at Fell's point was in the midst of big changes as well, walls were coming down, the exterior work, the gardens were magnificent, the kitchen was coming along and oh that beautiful orange shag carpet ... the future was bright.
Whenever we would see Samantha sparks of Tony could be seen in her. His ear for music, her fearlessness in being different, her thirst for knowledge not just going with what someone says, her enjoyment of books, her love for animals I hope these and other qualities of Tony's continue to grow as she matures and stands on her own two feet and embarks on her own journey.
As a member of the Carpenter family Tony was the go to guy. Any questions about cars, the newest gadgets, tattoos anything blessed to carry an engine it was a short call to Tony. New designs, games, the internet, ebay, music, electronics, business, small home repair, finding out what certain individuals were doing when they should have been home Tony was your guy. Tony enjoyed the better things in life. When it came to renovations at their home on Fell's point, he took great pride in the stainless steel the black marble they had chosen for the kitchen, the steel roof and the tinted windows. He loved his motors, the jaguars that he would fix up, the motorcycles, the roadmaster, the dump truck, the boat. He would buy them, of course always a good deal and would fix them up usually with his friends nearby and always with his own genius and creativity.
He was a procrastinator yes, but when he got a job done it was a piece of art and it was noticed whether it was the sound of the motor, the volume in the speakers, the clarity of the sound, the finest detail of the tattoos on his back, and when it came to colour it was never dull or boring...it was all definitely noticed.
Our family is forever changed by these events as everyone here is. Some of the things that I have learned and some old lessons have definitely been deepened since the accident. One of them is things rarely go as planned, in a crisis as a family you either implode or just move forward as a team supporting each other along the way, one incident can be a catalyst for so many things to different people, how we react does not just effect ourselves but it can create a ripple effect, the most important lesson, no matter how bad it gets, we always have a choice. Do we choose to become stronger or weaker, do you focus on what could have been, what we believe is fair and what isn't or do you work through it and move on moment by moment, do you focus on the important things and fight for those or do you just react because of anger or grief and wallow, do you forgive and move on, do you focus on the material things or what you gave to each other the things no one can ever take away...no matter how deep the grief or crazy the circumstances we always have a choice.
Our family dinners will never be the same as we just saw on Easter Sunday, there are things we will miss...seeing Samantha as often as we used to,Tony's laugh, his buddha belly after dinner, but he always had room for pie, Cory and Tony settling down for a nap after Jean's legendary turkey, his full head of hair... he definitely wasn't a Carpenter in that aspect, our impromptu get togethers out at Tony's and Heather's in the summer with everyone welcome boats, food, dogs, kids their place was a salvation and escape when times got tough, he was great to have in your corner and told you like it was whether you wanted to hear it or not, he wasn't the kind to sugarcoat things or worry about hurting your feelings he called it as he saw it, he loved to discuss things he wanted to get to the root of your belief, he didn't care what people thought of him he was who he was take it or leave it, he wasn't perfect none of us are but he was a good man and that shows in the people here today, his family and his closest friends. Tony always challenged me in life and in a strange way he is still challenging me in death... boy is he ever.
Thank you my friend you will be missed.
(I always like to end with a quote.
This quote was written by Charlie Daniels on his way to his friend Steve Van Zant's Funeral I felt it rang true about Tony
A brief candle; forever burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last.)

Thanks for the help

Thanks to all who have emailed me with places I can get glass bottles I am now the proud owner of two glass baby bottles, 3 stainless steel sippy cups ( which I now have found out might cause Alzheimers so now if I am not killing my children they will forget all that I have done to keep them safe) eco friendly dish soap, cleaner, toilet and drain stuff all of which I found in Bobcaygeon. After being on some of these eco sites for kids with organic this and non that, I am surprised my children have survived at all not only with me as their mamma not to mention the dangers in this world hell I am surprised that we are all still alive and then I laughed at another study stating that there is a rise in teenage drug use because we are keeping our kids so safe they are using drugs to get the adrenaline rush.... so now I am off to find if I can take the boys Bungee jumping or hang gliding or white water rafting down the Burnt River this summer while I am on mat leave that should do it...actually I shouldn't worry they should get enough of an adrenaline rush getting around this maze called my living room.

Crazy Eights

You know those quizzes that you get emailed and then you send them back so the person that sent you it gets to know you better.....this is kind of like that but you don't have to do anything Thanks for the idea Kelly of http://www.donmillsdiva.blogspot.com/

Eight things I am passionate about:

My family

My friends ( that covers everyone in a nutshell)

my work the people at my work

learning new things

my photography,

my writing

palliative care

Calling people on their bullshit


Eight things I learned this past year:

Sometimes you just can't keep your mouth shut

I am only one woman

Marriage and raising a family is constant work even after 13 years

Sometimes life just isn't fair end of story

Yes we can get more snow

I really am allergic to alcohol (this isn't a laughing matter)

I really don't want to hear the excuses sometimes people are just assholes

sometimes all you got to do is move on

Eight things I say often:

You are going to drive me to drink

F*@#

F*@# Maximus

I am going to say goodbye one of Mamma's friends ( for the umpteenth time as I head to the funeral home)

Pain in the butt Carpenter Kid ( in a loving laughing tone)

I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much

Grow a Penis you lose your eyes (Andrew gets very upset with this one and likes to remind me that when he actually does find something that even with a penis he can see)

Eight words to Live by

Love

ownership ( take ownership for your mistakes and learn from them)

forgiveness ( oh it feels so good )

Honesty ( to yourself)

Njut ( swedish word take it in )

Challenge (don't be afraid)

Balls ( everyone has got them grab them and use them especially when it comes to standing up for what you believe in or heaven forbid yourself)

Loyalty

Eight things for the Bucket List

Visit and see Orangutangs in Borneo with Birute

Speak french eloquently

go to Iceland and photograph the landscape and people's hands

Take my whole family to sweden for Swedish midsommar

Write and actually publish a childrens book

Still be married to Brian and still actually want to be

Carp and I to go to Tanzania and photograph from a hotair balloon, the Kilimanjaro and the mara mara

Do a tandem Parachute flight


Eight things I wish I knew at 18

Sieze the opportunities you get

No that guy isn't maybe like that because of his upbringing maybe he is just an asshole

Don't care so much what people think

Neon anything isn't exactly attractive neither is drinking till you puke

No you aren't fat

No the guys aren't like your cousins, they are really looking at your breasts and buying you drinks for other reasons than just being nice

Take more pictures

Njut



Eight people I admire

Rick Mercer
Heather my sister-in-law
my parents
Single mothers
Birute Galdikas
Steve
Jane Goodall
Kim Phuc

Eight Things I miss

My sanity
Faster Bojan
Sweden
My energy
My waist
Being able to drink responsibly
Dorothy
A minute to breathe

Caroline's rant The plastic has got my baby...

You want to know what pisses me off...well don't get me started... but today it is the toxic plastic debate. We are becoming generation guilt, guilt to go back to work or not to go back to work, guilt that our landfills are filling up, guilt we are feeding our children food that is grown using pesticides and crap I cannot pronounce just so the fruit looks pretty and blemish free, guilt over medications and vaccines, guilt that our children are in danger of becoming obese, guilt over which tv programs they should watch if any, which games they should play, guilt whether or not we correct them in their spelling, writing and reading, guilt whether we are putting them in any activities too many or too little, whether the kids have manners, are politically correct and have confidence to stand up without getting into a fight, guilt over whether we watch and know what our kids are doing or not doing enough, guilt over whether we are teaching our boys that it is okay to cry and our girls to be tough, guilt over breastfeeding, laying the baby on their stomach to sleep, letting them cry not letting them cry, sleeping with us or on their own and now I am F*#@ing killing him with the very vessel he gets most of his sustenance from. Living in rural Ontario I don't seem to be able to find any glass bottles so the search continues onto the internet as if I need something else to look up but if I don't there goes Mother of the year again and I had just regained the crown after the Grubby fiasco. Mamma and pappa asked what I wanted from Paris as they left today I told them glass baby bottles in the meantime I am going to ask the Mennonites outside of town if they have one I can have.

Mamma's Birthday

There are few women in this world more beautiful than Mamma...my mamma. The relationship I have with my mother is probably no different than that of other mothers and daughters. It is mamma or Elmo's ( as the boys call her) birthday on the 17th of April. I have the speech I wrote for her on her 65th that I thought I would share here that is until I find something else to add...


This has been a strange,emotional and busy week and as I chaotically rushed around last minute...it's when I do my best work dad...
It has been a week where I struggled to try to keep things perfect and meaningful maybe I set the bar to high but the last couple of days I really struggled to find something I could say about mamma because I don't feel that there is anything that would suffice that could possibly bring the adoration and admiration that I have for her to words.
If I am half the mother that my mother is to me I know my boys will be well taken cared of, I have been fortunate to have so many more resources that my mom had raising us and I give thanks each and every day for that. Andrew, David and soon Baby E are so so very lucky that they are surrounded by as much family as they are that they are loved and nurtured by the same people who loved and nurtured their parents and did a pretty good job if I may say so myself.
The lessons mamma has taught me and the gifts I have been given over the years and even still are immeasurable and have helped create the person, the mother, the friend, the wife, the caregiver I am today... not perfect by any means... god would that be boring, but I sure keep life exciting Carp can certainly vouch for that.
These are some of the lessons that I have learned.
Life isn't fair but don't let it bring you down.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
If you have a problem you can always find a book to fix it.
Cook and they will come...and eat.
Family is what you make it.
Meeting people at the post office isn't always the best place to find people for your midsommar parties.
Midsommar isn't just a special day it is an experience.
A hug can cure just about anything.
You never stop being a mother.
Mamma always knows best or at least thinks she does.
Sometimes it is best not to argue with mamma just nod your head and smile.
Sophia Loren has nothing on mamma.
Let the music take over.
A mother's strength whether it be physical, mental or emotional is one of the most powerful elements found on earth.
When it comes to friendship and family distance doesn't matter that is what phones are for.
A marriage is hard work.
If someone is an asshole it probably has to do with something that happened in their childhood and they are probably misunderstood but we have found out that sometimes they are just an asshole.
It isn't the destination it is the journey which is significant.
The most important thing in the end is family everything else is secondary.
Do not hang curtains up with your mother when she is being stubborn.
IKEA is not just furniture it is herring, shrimp, crayfish, morfar's brannvin ost, knackebrod and caviar.
Food always taste better at Elmo's house.
If there are problems there are always the angels...funny thing mamma doesn't know she is one of them.

Love you and like you mamma Har det Aran. Kram Caroline

Grubby's return

This is the day he comes home... a day of momumental concern....for a four year old. He is David's beloved Grubby. I don't remember where Grubby came from I believe he was grabbed in Walmart by Andrew for David when David was a baby...on one of the rare occassions we were in Walmart, I do mean rare it isn't a place we go to very often. In David's own words Grubby is his Bestest bestest friend and bestest bestest stuffy. Grubbyis named appropriately after his appearance which is now well loved yellow, he had a face once a long time ago he reminded me of Hello Kitty, now he is covered in holes but sits comfortably on David's head. How I could have been so calous in forgetting him at the hotel in Niagara last weekend? I don't know. No sleep be damned, relying not on myself totally to go over the room, trying to pack for three boys and 1 grown man plus myself plus make it to said grown mans game on time, what was I thinking...all is saved tonight when Auntie Header and Uncle Richard and cousin Maverick show up with Grubby in tow all will be well in this world ... for a 4 year old named David and his bestest bestest friend.

What I have learned from my children

Each of my boys came in different times of my life and with each pregnancy, birth and joy in watching them grow I learned something new.

Andrew taught me that with patience comes great joy, be open to the journey even though the path may not take you where you thought you would go, plan and think you know it all but it usually gets shot to hell in the end, the nurses and the anesthisiologist are your best friends and deserve your utmost respect, never eat banana popsicles during labour, dignity be damned, baby's are very bendy, slippery and very resilient, not drinking or smoking for all that time not so bad, baby's hear daddy's voice in the womb, babies don't hold it against you if you tell them to F off because they have been up three nights in a row, your baby is the most brilliant, strongest, handsomest child you have ever seen, the day will come when they tell you what you are doing wrong and they are right, Rescue Heroes rock, the motto Grandma's house Grandmas' rules stops alot of fights and hurt feelings, let your husband do stuff...does it really matter if the baby's ears aren't washed every time he has a bath, a baby has never died from crying, don't jump everytime he falls because you will never sit again, breastfeeding is a choice...your choice, formula can be helpful and thank god for it, you know your baby's best, when you get advice nod your head and smile take what you want ignore the rest, never wake a sleeping baby inless you really really have to, let them be a kid, manners never hurt, their heads are very hard....did I mention they are resilient, if he has survived me as a mother relatively unscathed anyone can do this.

David with his early arrival taught me even I am not invincible, he taught me the need to breathe, how amazing and deceiving running on adrenalin really is, being delusional can be a good thing while on the hunt for supplies, if water is "pouring" out of you you aren't just peeing, dark blue jersey outfits and long coats cover many evils, if you almost tell a resident to F off it is time to go on Maternity leave, it is amazing what strength and resilience mothers have, you are always your mothers daughter, Boys Rock, standing up to the doctor isn't bad especially when said doctor is an idiot, nurses and epidurals are the greatest, never say just push a little, it is amazing the people you meet and the connections you have make all the difference, while in labour your co workers voice is not one you want to hear on the phone especially if he is male, the NICU is humbling we are so blessed to have the amazing hospitals we have in such close proximity, the intense relationships you create in a crisis are so important in the moment admidst the chaos and then are gone as fast as they came, in the womb baby hears the voices of those residents you argue with the most, your body can only take so much, even if you have video copy of your mother saying "Oh No " when they announce its a boy she doesn't really mean it, there is better shopping in Newmarket than Peterborough if you have a choice in where they are sending your baby, pumping is good for the soul and oh so attractive as you are sitting on the couch watching the news, Power Rangers rule, if you fell you are dying and the pain is worse than childbirth especially when the pain of childbirth is very recent it is a gallbladder attack get it the hell out, learn to sit and laugh sometimes, never ever leave "Grubby" in Niagara falls, he may be small but he is mighty and quick.

Erik taught me about surprises, that serenity can be found amongst the chaos, baby's can bring joy and hope even in the midst of tragedy, how joyful being a mother is, that there are certain women who are put on this earth to raise amazing, respectful men, I can always borrow a girl and give her back, boys can love and show affection just as much as girls can, Playgroup saves lives and sanity, having boys in the house makes you immune to noise, mud, insects and man you can catch anything, Erik taught me that no matter what size I am... I am beautiful, a baby's laughter makes all the bad stuff go away, sleep is so over rated, sleep deprivation makes you extremely funny and creative, people who see you with your troop of boys give very sympathetic looks, Erik taught me about appreciating the small things, I am only one woman, what my house looks like does not reflect me as a mother, a little dirt and dust is good for the immune system, do not feed salmon or raw tomatoes to a 6 month old, even after the first two boys there are things you forget in regards to babies, each child is unique and amazing in their own way, you never run out of love, you always run out of food, the "magic bullet" can be your best friend when blending food for the baby, oh yes and soothers can also be your best friend, brothers are there for each other till the end there will come a time when each other is all you got.

As a mother I am so blessed with my boys.... a little crazy but blessed. I feel complete I do not feel I have missed out by not having a girl and I wish to hell people would stop thinking that it is somewhat negative that I don't have a girl. I have 2 amazing neices I look forward to sharing my wisdom with but I also have 5 nephews who I adore and respect. Raising your children is the most amazing journey anybody can partake in and boy am I ready for the ride.

Stay at home or go out to work

I am admittedly a better part time mamma then a full time mamma. I doesn't make me a bad person, it doesn't make me a better or worse mamma it is just what works for me. I truly admire the mamma who can stay home with their kids, keep things fresh, actually enjoy it and keep it somewhat together. I am not that woman. This is the first time I am taking a full year off and I am enjoying it, revelling in it, taking full advantage of it...knowing that I will be going back to work at the end of the summer. With Andrew I wasn't able to get maternity leave, I was blessed to live near both sets of grandparents, so I went back to work for the summer and then in the fall I was off for a bit then in November my husband said that if I needed to find a job or we would be in trouble financially, well I lived in Fenelon Falls, a seasonal tourist town, I had no car, it was November, I had a baby... I had been doing work, since I was 18, with senior's in their homes and at the time had part of my credentials as a Personal Support Worker, so a fairly new Long Term Care centre was hiring, I had nothing to lose I went in and told the Director of Care, who was a bit younger than me, that he was more than welcome to hire some young chippie fresh out of school who knew things by the book, instead of me but I had the experience, I was desperate, going out on a Saturday night wasn't an issue and he would be calling me back in a few months anyways when the other didn't work out. I loved working the floor but I knew my forte was in the program office creating with and for the residents. Then David happened he came 7 weeks early I was off for 7 months, a job opportunity in the program department came and I took it. When I took the job I didn't realize that I would partake in the department's fertility autumn baby program . So then there were three. Fortunately I work part time. And my place of work has become a part of our family's life. Even while the kids are in day care or at school visits to my work are frequent and enjoyed by all. Christmas morning is spent with the whole family helping to give out the resident's gifts, that family has brought in, there are parties, and there are always good treats to be found. My job is important to me, the work I do is enjoyable and important, it allows me to get my creative juices flowing, gives me a place to brag about my family and top be me not somebody's mom, not somebody's daughter, not somebody's wife but just me. Family is extremely important I guess growing up in an immigrant family where my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins was overseas I slowly realized it wasn't the amount of time that I spent with them it was how I spent it with them. I have very signigficant relationships with my family overseas, distance and time away doesn't necessarily carry a negative undertone it can make an appreciation... in the time you have with each other and the memories you create with that time and the other things you do to stay connected. When I come home from work and I am with my kids I enjoy them and revel in them I am excited to hear about their day and ready to face the crazy hours just before bed with a little more humour. To each there own but as they say Happy mamma happy home.

Virgin blogger

So what does one do at the beginning of ones epic voyage into blogdom...as a virgin blogger I think I just wanted somewhere to write, a quiet place that was all my own...really truly my own, being a mother of three boys, married to my husband of 12 or is it now 13 years and one very large male cane corso dog my mamma calls the calf with only my cat to add her estrogen to my lair...being alone is something captured in a few fleeting moments of a very full day. I feel my mind overflowing with things to write about , being part of this so called sandwich generation, looking for my mother...who was never really lost losing mother of the year once again and then regaining the title quite quickly, my baby's culinary adventures, my children surviving me as their mother, watching my past come back and bite me in the ass, staying with film in a digital world...I hear the groans already, working with senior's, getting off the fence, getting back on the fence whether it is working part time, not really taking a stand seeing all sides of the story...blah blah blah so here begins my forray into blogdom hope I don't step on too many toes oooooh but where is the fun in that