You Know you are from Sweden when...

My Swedish background growing up was always a big part of my life. It is something i am very proud of but having lived there while I went to school my rose coloured glasses soon came off. The Swedish Canadians will get a good laugh from this the Swedes will just say that is not us...

You know you are from Sweden when…
* You go to IKEA for the food and not the furniture.
* Your kids are familiar wih Pippi, Pelle Svanlös, Barnen Hedenhös etc
* When Björn Borg played tennis everything stopped in your house so you could all watch it.
* You went to school with mesmor, Kalles kaviar and egg, leverpate and pickles sandwiches not PB and J
* When asked what language you speak you reply Swenglish
* Christmas Eve is the holy day and Christmas day you relax unless you are married to a Canadian
* You watch international curling to hear Swedish yelling
* There are feathers on branches in your home at Easter.
* Your first pair of shoes were clogs
* Your kids believe in tomten, Trolls and think nothing about straw goats at Christmas
* Dancing like a frog around a maypole is not necessarily done only when you are drunk.
* You don’t just say Skoal there is a ritual, consisting of staring people in the eyes acknowledging them and then drinking.
* You know two things Sober and Drunk
* Sitting naked sweating your ass off with your neighbours or family in a cedar filled room and then jumping into snow or a frozen lake is normal
* Snaps comes with a whole set of rules and songs
* Sill was one of the first foods you tasted
* Dill is constantly used in your recipes
* Just because you went to the fack school does not mean you learned to F..k there.
* You know someone who was in Thailand when the Tsunami hit
* When picking teams for the hockey pool the number of Swedes on the team does matter
* You know the words Du gamla du fria, Öppna landskap, and Sommaren är kort by heart
* It drives you crazy when people say you are from Switzerland
* Your cousins phone and complain about time off …what 6 weeks vacation isn’t enough for you?
* You should be blonde and blue eyed and know it.
* Your claim to fame ABBA, meatballs, Volvo, absolut, IKEA and the tetra pack
* Alan keys are a staple in your tool kit
* You didn’t drink juice you drank saft.
* A sandwhich should be open not closed
* Ficka is a ritual
* Midsommar is not just a national holiday.
* "When you tell people you're swedish they ask you when you recorded your first porno "
* You know many Swedes with the last name ending with son
* "After eating at a café/restaurant, you think it's completely normal to tidy your table, collect all your stuff onto a tray and carry it over a trolley so that the staff doesn't have to do it. "
* "You answer the phone by saying your first name."
* "You are always apologizing, even if you don´t know why. "
*" If you are a Swedish girl: every time you say where you are from guys get a silly little smirk on their faces and think that you are easy. "
* "You don't consider small, round fluffy things stacked over each other and served with syrup to be actual pancakes. Real pancakes are thin, taste better...are served with jam and sometimes whipped cream."
* You know the meaning of and utmost importance of a cheese slicer
* You love O’boy to pieces and know that there is no way the Nesquick powder can ever replace it.
* You insist that Swedish chocolate Cloetta Marabou is the best in the world, despite what the Belgians and the Swiss might say.
* You don't understand why Canadians might think you are a member of the KKK if you have a big cross on your front lawn covered in leaves for midsommar and then dress up with a white gown and cone on our head for Lucia day
* You have caught crayfish and gladly gone through al the work to eat them
* You feel that "kladdkaka" tastes better than normal chocolate cake and the best cake is "Princess Tårta"
* You ask a visitor from back home to to bring you Dam Tidning, Mesmor, Idomin Salva and “Herrgårdsost” and all those other everyday luxuries you miss.
* Having salad on your Pizza is not odd
* You don't think having an orange painted horse as a symbol of your country is odd
* You happen to come across a Swedish food product in your local supermarket and just HAVE to buy it because it's food from back home.
* You understand that for “V” and “W” is the same sound in Swedish
* "You consider a fast and audible intake of breath as a synonym to the word "yes".
* "The Danish think you understand Danish. Ultimatley, when spoken, you don't really understand Danish. You make fun of the Danish for speaking "Swedish with potatoes in their mouths".
* You have to explain the wonder that is "snus" .
* "You with great (albeit hidden) pride explain that in Swedish we call our grandparents MORMOR & MORFAR and FARMOR & FARFAR "
* You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.You know how to pronounce these names
* "You don't think it's weird that a children's book talks about a penis measuring contest (snoppmätartävling) like in 'Berts dagbok'."
* You proudly state that the best Eurovision entry ever is "Waterloo" Abba was there any doubt. It still disturbs you that Carola singing Framling did not win the Eurovision Song Contest the first time around she participated, back in -83.
* You think that Sweden winning gold in any type of World Championships/Olympics requires celebrating
* You think nothing of people at home calling you a black skull because you have dark hair and watching you like a hawk in the stores because she must be an outsider
* You instinctively spot Swedes from a distance based on their blond looks and they're clothes and/or by the round pale mark in the pocket of their jeans (Snus) and you can tell what part of Sweden they are from by their dialect
* You have seen both your parents naked more than once
* You would never ever admit to anything on this list (since that would make you “too” Swedish)
* You unfourtunately realise that everything on this list is true.
* Growing up you might have believed that Sweden was some kind of fairy land with a perfect system until you took a good long look and realize how lucky you are to live in Canada

Thank you for the inspiration Caroline Pehrson